— Mike Rawlings, mayor of Dallas, on no new Ebola cases in five days.
I been walking around all excited. I was planning on going to a bar so I could watch it. I was going to get all buzzed up and holler things like “WHOO HOO!” when the Royals got a hit or struck someone out. I was going to give the evil eye to people wearing Giants clothes from my barstool perch.
"Um, Mike," a friend of mine just said to me, "It doesn’t start until tomorrow."
Man, what a let down! Why did I even get out of bed?
My son, who’s newly a man and living his life, went to a Queens of the Stone Age concert for the fourth time awhile back. Can you guys guess which band is his favorite? If you said the Beatles, you’d be correct. But Queens are a very close second.
This time, though, he got to meet Josh Homme, whom he tells me he is “totally gay for”.
You ‘n me both, Skippy. Josh Homme is fucking hot.
I received a barrage of excited texts from him around 3 AM that morning. He talked about how down to earth Homme was, how he deigned to take a photo with my son’s band, FIRE NUNS. He went on and on about what a regular guy Homme was, and came to the conclusion that a band should be required to hang with the people who actually pay money to see them.
Great idea if it’s feasible. The Queens played Sturgis, South Dakota that night. Not exactly a metropolis, even with the Biker Rally going on. Normally, the population is about 7,000 people; during the Rally, 175,000. After the show, Homme went into the bar, had a drink, and hung out with fans. My son was there, boner a-blazin’.
Ever since he was 6 years old, my boy has known what he wanted to do. At age 5, I signed him up for piano lessons and it was all downhill from there. I remember the day he asked me if he could switch to guitar. He was like maybe 9 or 10. He thought piano was what I was all about because my mom was a classically trained pianist.
“If you feel like it, sure,” I told him. Somewhat taken aback, he took maybe 3 guitar lessons and off he went.
My plan worked. At a young age, make ‘em play piano. If they take to it, they can teach themselves any instrument, which my son did. He is a drummer and singer and bassist and a guitarist and a pianist and a songwriter. Me, I can play an Ipod.
Ten grand well spent. If he gets famous and makes serious coin, he totally fucking owes me bigtime. I want a fully restored red 1950s era pickup, a condo in downtown Denver near Coors Field, and a bevy of blonde, brunette, and redheaded beauties, plus a few more redheaded beauties, all of whom won’t mind my mercurial and oppositional ways.
There was a period there where my son was all about Nirvana. He loved them. Listened to them constantly. Cobain, though, was a heroin addict pussy who killed himself. He was brilliant, with ‘was’ being the operative word.
Homme IS brilliant.
Choose life, kids. I am glad that my son’s spirit animal is a man who has agreed to live into his 40s and beyond. I’ve done the same. We should all do the same and more. Cobain wimped out in his 20s, when everything sucks. It’s weird, this obsession with youth we have. It pretty much sucks to be young, especially your 20s. You think you know stuff but you don’t, not at all, and when things don’t pan out, you get all whiny because you thought you knew stuff, which you didn’t.
35 is the age of freedom. If you have nards enough to make it to 35, then the world is your lobster. Still, at 35 nothing makes sense either and everything sucks, but you grow a more fuck you attitude about it. You’re less sensitive. At 35, your heart has been broken at least twice, probably more, so the next beautiful person you see you look at in 3, not 2 dimensions.
“I love you!” they say.
“Yeah…?” you say tentatively.
At 35, all of your political leaders are liars, especially the ones you believe in, and the world is stacked against you, but at least you know it.
Knowing is all of the battle.
Choose life, kids. It gets better because it doesn’t. You do.
Anonymous said: People are going to start coming here with ebola to be cured. My mom is a nurse, she's going to be asked to help. They have NO protocols for dealing with this right now, and it's not gonna happen any time soon with an ATTORNEY heading the whole situation. But oh no it ***feels wrong*** to close the borders. What happens when someone you know is infected and dies? Will it *feel wrong* then?
Well, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter. Thank you, Anon. We should shut down our borders, close the schools, and hide under our beds. Everybody panic! Um, and the crack about an attorney is irrelevant. EVERYBODY in our government is an attorney, from the President and his team to virtually the entire Congress. Why do you think this country is so fucked up?
I don’t favor the closing of our borders to try and stop Ebola, even though it seems to have worked for the countries surrounding the outbreak.
Senegal, Nigeria, Ivory Coast, Guinea-Bissau, South Africa, Zambia, Zimbabwe…all of these countries have tighter restrictions on travel from the affected countries than the U.S. They range from an outright border closing/no travel at all in Ivory Coast to a continuous 21-day monitoring in Zimbabwe. Read about it here.
But it just feels wrong to me, plain and simple. If a sick person comes here, we should help them. It’s the right thing to do.
The onus for keeping this shit in check is on the CDC and the Obama “Administration”. Hopefully the whole leading from behind, spewing of politically correct platitudes will stop and we will have, gasp, actual real live leadership in THIS matter at least.
I’m not holding my breath, though.
I voted for Obama in both of his elections and I’m fairly certain he’s one of the worst Presidents in modern history.
But, alas, democracy is like sex. When it’s good, it’s REALLY good, but when it’s bad, well, it’s still pretty good….
Anonymous said: An intellectual on tumblr? I'm shocked.
I used to be the lead singer for a band called Drunken Firework Mishap. Our logo was a stylized pair of polyurethane testicles.
Travelling from town to town in a broken down van, earning just enough money for beer and McDonald’s and gas to the next show, all the while getting more ass than a toilet seat. You guys know why rock’n roll was invented, don’t you? To get laid. Why develop an interesting personality or be tall or maintain a fit physique when you can just pick up a guitar or a drumstick or a microphone and scream about how no one understands you?
Nowadays, I look back fondly on those days, but at the time we weren’t very happy. Like most people, we were convinced that the present sucked, the future would be better “if only” or “once this or that happened”, and that the past was a golden age. The human being is quite adept at cheating himself out of his own happiness. The problem for us was that we didn’t want to be a punk rock band. What we really wanted to do was play polka music, but not just any polka music. Serious polka music about serious issues, like the patriarchy and how white people are evil, especially white men, and how America was a giant world-devouring monster. Stuff like that. If there was one thing we cared about as a band, it was the issues.
Every once in a while, toward the end of a show, we’d pull out our accordions, put on our lederhosen, and try out our true love right there in front of everybody. We’d launch into the the Patriarchal Privilege Polka or the Down With Whitey Waltz or the Genocidal Jew Jig, but invariably to resounding boos. Sometimes we’d even get pelted with rocks and garbage and have to flee the stage in tears.
This rejection only fueled our punk shows, and the next time we got onstage and screamed about how no one understood us, we meant it just a little more than before.
Ah, those were the days.
I have a great idea. Let’s send 3,000 American troops who are not medically trained into an area infested with Ebola and then bring them back home. What could possibly go wrong?
Still, someone has to help and that’s what America does. Can you imagine any other country doing something like this? Me either.
Very worrisome, though.
Um, plenty of other countries do stuff like this. Cuba has been there dedicating hundreds of medical professionals since the breakout started.
Um, duh. But not to this degree. Cuba has 450 healthcare professionals there. I’m sure there are others from many other countries as well. The majority of our soldiers will be there for logistics and construction of temporary hospitals (some other reblogger said all 3,000 of them were healthcare professionals….um, no.). So, yeah, um, my point remains.
I’m going to convert them to my religion and make them live in the shed. I will tell them it’s a house, though. When they get mad, I will let them have a casino in it.