February 2012
29 posts
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Yesterday
I posted a picture of me wearing my robe. Remember how smoking hot I was? Well, actually I was just smoking (a corn cob pipe). I don’t often post pictures of myself on here and will not start. It isn’t like I’m a woman or anything. When the first artists began painting on the walls of their caves, they painted WOMEN, not dudes (who are hairy and lumpy). There’s a reason for...
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ARSENOKOITAI
is a Greek word that we don’t really know the meaning of. It is very ambiguous, used very rarely, and its context tends to vary in ancient texts. It appears in the New Testament, where it’s meaning has been adjusted to fit anti-gay views. Even non-biased scholars have difficulty translating the word—pimp, they say it means, pedophile, masturbator, male prostitute, etc. For the...
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I was just digging around on Google and noticed a...
Seriously? Google needs to pander for Facebook likes? Come on, now. They are the Wal-Mart of search. People don’t even search for things anymore, they google them. Are they sitting around their offices carved out of enormous solid gold blocks high fiving each other, “Yeah, boyyyyy, we got another Facebook like!”
hookersorcake said: This signifies that the right understands the tide has turned on gay marriage. If they are to win a national election they can no longer be racist bible thumping homophobes.
I believe you’re right. Pretty soon their archaic-ness will begin to look and...
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“A kitchen is the only place in the world that makes complete sense.”
– Michael Kindt
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FDA Warns Pets Being Poisoned by Treats:... →
The question many are asking is how many dogs will have to die before the products are recalled? It is already estimated that the dead and dying are numbered at more than 500. This number does not count all of the cases that have not made the connection yet between a pet’s illness and the treats. The treats are causing kidney failure and Fanconi syndrome, with some cases resulting in death;...
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Fifty Hot & New Sex Tips
I am excited that my Cosmo came today, and I had a dandy ol’ time reading it on the toilet. I admit it. I am a toilet reader. It has gotten to the point where I am unable to even use the facilities without something to read. Sometimes, I will sit there on the throne reading for so long that my legs go numb and I am forced to crawl forth from the bathroom with my pants around my ankles like...
“The white man that landed here, he came with two great weapons. One is the Bible...”
– Black Bookstore Owner - The Black Power Mixtape (via eyesofadiaspora)
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Did yoga. First time ever.
I’m all stretched out and feeling good. Had to keep stopping to look at the pictures in the book, such a neophyte am I. Gonna keep at it, though. It was fun.
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"When I first learned that Hitchens was diagnosed...
Expostulate about the pointlessness Duplicated but self-referential Viciously futile and in that sense It spreads and spreads Nothing useful may do something harmful It survives simply because it survives Fundamentally suggesting only the arrangements The world willy-nilly Mischievous or evil By-products or symptoms Sometimes manifestations of pure malice Designed to kill us or make us suffer...
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@early-onset-of-night:
scrivvleland:
i’m writing this mostly for you mr. kindt, and also because i think my small group of followers might find this interesting.
recently a young man moved into my house and i have come to find that he is somewhat full of himself. we were swapping out the DVR in my bedroom with the regular cable box in the living room. i asked what time it was because i wanted to tape jersey shore....
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But seriously.
It’s kind of a cute idea. I sense, though, that it will become very annoying very quickly. In fact, I was going to shell out a buck and put a message next to this post, but, alas, I don’t get to pick the message. You have to select from a list of pre-existing messages. I was gonna put TYPING THIS WITH RAGING WOOD or something. Oh well. Tumblr done lost out on a buck :)
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I am so awesome, Tumblr should pay ME a dollar...
fuck yeah
PLANNED PARENTHOOD SAVED MY LIFE →
Very cool new Tumblr.
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2:48 pm.
Rye whiskey. I am celebrating. Early Onset of Night, Volume Two is essentially done. Well, the writing has been done awhile, but the gory details are about done now. There is the matter of the cover, the matter of the order. The FUCKING order, I should say. My writing strikes people as very autobiographical. It’s in my tone, the way I write the stories. Am I saying it’s not...
warholandliza replied to your post: He had spent the day drinking Manhattans.
McDonald’s gets rid of pink slime. Hmm doesn’t that resemble one of your most legendary posts?
Yes….my “legendary” chicken post :) Almost as legendary as my pile o’ shit tattoo post. I saw that pink slime story. McDonald’s, nice bastards that they are, is no longer gonna use beef that...
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He had spent the day drinking Manhattans.
He’d had the first at precisely 12:18 pm, quite early by puritanical American standards. Silly Americans, he thought drunkenly, we have actually convinced ourselves that alcohol is bad, yet we all eat pill after pill because we’re so depressed. He tried to think of someone under the age of 25 not on anti-depressants, but could think of no one. He stumbled over to the calendar and...
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What the world needs.
I’ve been thinking lately about how I can make the world a better place, about how I can give back. I mean, I know I’m just some mouthy bald dude from South Dakota, but, really, I think I can help. So today I went to my favorite thinking spot, which is the graveyard, and sat down in the dead winter grass. I turned my hand into a fist and placed my chin on it and began some hardcore,...
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Grab Bag.
I am extremely careful when cutting peppers. Slicing, dicing, mincing, whatever. I eat the damn things in just about everything, so I’m doing it a lot, too. Invariably when I’m working with peppers, especially really hot ones, my body does weird things, like my eyes will itch or my junk will need to be adjusted. Every. Damn. Time. And I will forget and rub my eye. Or worse, stick my...
January 2012
100 posts
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“All that glitters is not gold. Sometimes, though, the things that glitter are,...”
– New motto chosen for the DPA (Divorced People of America).
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Placing my adult son up for adoption. PM if...
So I have a kid, right? And I love him and yadda yadda yadda, but this week he got his first apartment. Although only 18, he is an independent man living on his own. I kind of helped matters in that department by immediately packing my bags and moving the fuck away the day after he graduated high school. If that ain’t a hint, I don’t know what is. What bugs me is that his apartment is...
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I dreamt that I was younger.
I had my long hair back and I was in my old hometown, a place I haven’t lived for 20 years. Everything was abandoned, caving in, falling down, boarded up. The ground was covered in skeletons. I dream the above scenario time and again. Hundreds of times now. Variations occur, variations on a theme if you will… This time, for example, my hair was black. When I was young, my hair was...
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I'd really like to see a "No" during one of those...
I just saw a televised marriage proposal (TMP) tonight. It was typical: the guy yammering about finding his “soul mate”, tearing up, lower lip quivering. They bring the woman out. She’s all surprised. He gets down on his knees…. You know the story. My fingers were crossed for a “No.” Alas! She of course said “Yes.” They almost have to. Shit,...
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The 65 year old hippie was talking to the 45 year...
“I don’t understand all that anger and violence you guys were into,” he said. “Yeah?” said the 45 year old punk. “Well, I don’t understand all that peace and love crap you guys were into.” Just then a 25 year old hipster walked by and they both burst out laughing.
You know, when George Thorogood drinks alone,
he prefers to be by himself.
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What happened to the fucking harpsichord?
Was it not cool? Was the piano really that much better? Why? I like it, kinda. Very different. Goldberg Variations are quite different played on one. I’m not saying better, but….different. Goldberg Variations were originally written for harpsichord, if I’m not mistaken. You’ll remember the Variations from Silence of the Lambs. It was what Hannibal Lecter was listening to...
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I feel like talking. So I'm gonna.
Mildly buzzed. This is perfect. I truly dislike being all drunk, but I like to be nice ‘n silly. I feel healthier, a warm glowing feeling. I have switched to tea. I have been formally invited to my class reunion this summer, which is a bit odd considering I’m a high school dropout. I din’t even make it into a month of my sophomore year and I was outta there. No worries, though. I...
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I am not the prescriptive grammar type.
Obvious to anyone who’s ever read anything I’ve written, but antique when used as a verb bugs me. AnTEEKing. The very nice lady at the very cluttered consignment shop asked me if I was anTEEKing. Also, she wondered if I was an anTEEKer. A resounding “No” on both. “I’m just browsing,” I told her. “I am a browser.” I got a really cool oil lamp...
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“Hot, humid, and happening—just like your daughter.”
– Steven Tyler, 64, to the father of a girl, 15, who was trying out for American Idol. The father had asked Tyler how it was going and, clearly, received far too much information. (source)
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Information Tuesday
It isn’t “too much”, but it is, in fact, information: I occasionally look for jobs. Not very often, being lazy. Having a job, I’ve noticed, really cuts into my sitting around time. But, yeah, I occasionally go out and look for them, saying to myself “I’m being a productive member of society!” or some such shit. The last time I looked for a job was early...
