January 2012
87 posts
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I feel like talking. So I'm gonna.
Mildly buzzed. This is perfect. I truly dislike being all drunk, but I like to be nice ‘n silly. I feel healthier, a warm glowing feeling. I have switched to tea. I have been formally invited to my class reunion this summer, which is a bit odd considering I’m a high school dropout. I din’t even make it into a month of my sophomore year and I was outta there. No worries, though. I...
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I am not the prescriptive grammar type.
Obvious to anyone who’s ever read anything I’ve written, but antique when used as a verb bugs me. AnTEEKing. The very nice lady at the very cluttered consignment shop asked me if I was anTEEKing. Also, she wondered if I was an anTEEKer. A resounding “No” on both. “I’m just browsing,” I told her. “I am a browser.” I got a really cool oil lamp...
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“Hot, humid, and happening—just like your daughter.”
– Steven Tyler, 64, to the father of a girl, 15, who was trying out for American Idol. The father had asked Tyler how it was going and, clearly, received far too much information. (source)
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Information Tuesday
It isn’t “too much”, but it is, in fact, information: I occasionally look for jobs. Not very often, being lazy. Having a job, I’ve noticed, really cuts into my sitting around time. But, yeah, I occasionally go out and look for them, saying to myself “I’m being a productive member of society!” or some such shit. The last time I looked for a job was early...
Anonymous asked: I just went through about 10 pages of this blog and it's very interesting to say the least. I notice in some posts you seem to be atheistic and in others theistic. Don't know which way to go?
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“I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s...”
– Mitt Romney (source)
theeshortgirl0912 asked: so about that book of yours, it was utterly fantastic. Each story was completely different and I loved every second of it . I cannot wait for volume 2 (please tell me there will be one)!!
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So the internet rose up and defeated SOPA and PIPA...
that the government could do what those laws gave it the power to do all along. Should we be shocked? Not if we are over ten years old. The government, you see, can do WHATEVER it wants, WHENEVER it wants. The laws are numerous enough and vague enough that they can be interpreted anyway the government wants to interpret them. They are like the Bible that way. But is it really a big deal? So what...
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3 in 1 ~ The Wax Bananas
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Fuck it. I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
I’m officially sick of winter. Last night it rained and was beautiful. It’s been 3 degrees here or some shit, so warmth was nice. Listening to rain fall was nice. I sniffed the air, but did not detect Spring, which saddened me. You can smell Spring, you know, underneath all the other scents. I pick it up in early February some years and it is both wonderful and terrible—wonderful...
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Is anyone else a lunatic Kinks fan?
God, I love em. I’ve been playing them all day. I own everything by them. I love and respect the Beatles and all, but really they’re only like the third best band to come out of the 60s. “I’m not like everybody else” is probably the best song written by somebody from England. Awesomeness. But, yeah…opinions, opinions… :)
In other news, I became a part of my local Food...
I think. The dude was a little shy. I told him point blank, though: “I wanna help.” So maybe they’ll let me. I have much to offer, like the ability to write astronomically witty pamphlets littered with the word ‘Fuck’. Also, physical beauty, awesome black boots with red laces, and a genuine concern to help those less fortunate than me and piss off The Man at the same...
Hey, you guys should send me your phone numbers...
Deal?
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The bank called today.
They’re all, “Hello Mr. Kindt, um, your account is overdrawn.” I’m like, “Shit, seriously? How?” “Oh, there was an internet purchase with PayPal that your account over there couldn’t cover. Apparently the two accounts are tied together. $2.40 was taken out of your account here for the balance. The problem is, you had no money in this account.”...
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Introducing your new punctuation marks.
So I’m talking to a girl on Facebook and after everything she types, she puts LOL or LMAO. It started to get very annoying. Me: So what have you been up to? Her: Oh, nothing much LOL Me: Cool. Are you gonna be around this weekend? Her: No. Gotta go to Sioux Falls for a funeral LMAO Me: Sorry to her that. Her: Yeah it’s a bummer LOL Me: Well, you seem ok, I guess? Her: Yeah it was just...
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I just made the best fucking salad in the Cosmos....
First of all, kalamata olives. I don’t piss around when I make a salad. I make it like a man, like fucking Clint Eastwood, all squint-eyed and kalamata-olive-using. There are people walking around on this planet right this very minute who don’t like kalamata olives, but that’s ok because I am very accepting of pathetic loseriness. Next, the base: iceberg lettuce, which featured...
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MPAA chief: SOPA/PIPA blackouts 'dangerous'... →
lonelycoast:
“Pulling up their pants to protest the proposed buttfucking we want to give them is a dangerous gimmick”, declared former Senator Chris Dodd, now chairman and CEO of the Motion Picture Association of America. In a statement released Wednesday, Dodd said, “They are misusing their power by informing internet users and getting the people all angered up at our power grab. It isn’t fair....
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Containers, man. They're fucking everywhere.
Everything in my house is a container. My books contain words and my shelves contain books and my cupboard contains glasses which will at some point contain liquid which contains the ability to hydrate and fill and satisfy and my kitchen is nothing more than a container for my cupboards and my refrigerator which contains food which contains the ability to fill and satisfy and make fat and sickness...
Excerpt: "Fred The Head"
I started getting tired of pot around 23, 24 years old. To this day, I much prefer alcohol. Pot makes my brain work feverishly, which annoys me since it’s always working pretty feverishly anyway. Alcohol blots out the mind and this is something I can really get down with. Sometimes, I just need to sit there with a stupid look on my face and a single thought in my head: PUSSY! Fred continued on…and...
thesinofme asked: I've been on a forum where the aim was to find and post pictures of all the processed foods in the USA, mostly posted by Americans. Some of the things posted just looked awful. Even our processed food is better than some of the things I saw! I wish we could eat Organic, it's just too expensive for a single mum. At least we eat healthy :D
Early Onset of Night: So I went down to the Co-op... →
thesinofme:
early-onset-of-night:
11.2 million dollars per gram for organic peanut butter. Gal in front of me was buying a jar and she actually had the title to her car and was signing it over. Shit, man. The guy behind the counter, you know the young one with the afro, he says there was a tragic peanut crop failure. “Well, it…
How is this possible? In the UK you cant get Peanut Butter...
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Victory for Internet Freedom: US Congress Shelves... →
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"Good God,
how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include tooth decay in His divine system of creation? Why in the world did He ever create pain?” “Pain?” Lieutenant Shiesskopf’s wife pounced upon the word victoriously. “Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers.” “And who created the dangers?” Yossarian demanded....
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The Ron Paulians are not amused.
Which is ok. You know that I’m writing HUMOR, right? I am not making arguments or trying to be insightful. I’m just trying to be a smartass and, clearly, I have succeeded swimmingly. I could just as easily write my political shit from a right-wing standpoint. I’m dead serious. Maybe I will just for laughs. I don’t give a shit about politics. I don’t believe in it....
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Somebody called "Twatwaffle29" is now following...
I couldn’t follow back fast enough. In fact, so eager was I to follow back, I sprained my follow back finger and it is now in a little sling. I prescribed myself 2 aspirins and a cup of tea and expect to make a full recovery. Twatwaffle is such a fun word. I love expanding my vocabulary because it makes me sound smart at parties—that is, if I ever get invited to any. I can’t...
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highsee replied to your post: Just got home from the coolest bookstore.
Do you have Book Knooks where you are located? Best used book/movie/vinyl store on the planet.
Nope not around here. This place was totally independent and had new and used, mostly used, in excellent condition. I bought 3 books but could’ve easily bought 20. I’ve decided I’m going every week :)
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Just got home from the coolest bookstore.
It’s right downtown and I’ve been meaning to stop in ever since I moved to this town months and months ago. Finally did today. I was there for hours, wandering. It was like a warren, a maze. At one point, I was even lost. Back and back it went. So very fun. You really need to go to bookstores like that over and over again to really get a feel for what they have. One visit, even lasting...
Height Meme
1’2”, aroused.
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GOVERNMENT SO SMALL IT CAN FIT IN YOUR UTERUS
You wouldn’t know it from looking at me, but prayer is a big part of my life. Whenever the cameras are on me BANG! I immediately start praying, just like Tim Tebow. Instead of touchdowns, however, I ask for answers. For example, why are so many young white men crushing hardcore on Ron Paul? Surely, oh lord, there’s more to it than the whole “Dude, he’s totally gonna...
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Wherein I wane philosophical.
Ahimsa is the principle of non-harming. You go through life and try not to hurt things. I first learned about it when studying Buddhism and I was immediately attracted to it. Much of Buddhism eluded me, striking me as illogical, especially the teaching of karma and the deterministic thrust of the rest of it. I read a book by Walpola Rahula, a Buddhist teacher, in which he asked “How can...