January 2011
Anonymous asked: your new year fantasy?
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How Tumblr works, as told by someone who isn't a...
1. Most of your followers don’t read your posts. Especially if they are text posts. Words, especially long strings of words making up complete sentences, whole paragraphs, etc., are like school, and school sucks, yo. Sure, you will have some real Followers, but mostly you will have followers, lower-case f. Followers actually care about what you say and are interested in what you post, while...
veganbohemian asked: Michael,
I hope you have a wonderfilled New Year that is filled with peace <3
Much peace and love to you xox
~Niki
I hope you have a wonderfilled New Year that is filled with peace <3
Much peace and love to you xox
~Niki
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It's minus 6 degrees fahrenheit here and snowing...
Last New Year’s Eve, I almost got arrested for stealing a candy machine out of an entry way of a bar called The Frontier in Custer, South Dakota.
I was only borrowing it and gave it back when confronted by the owner out in the parking lot.
It was full of Red Hots. Yummy.
I apologized and he didn’t call the cops. Nice guy.
I had gotten asked to leave because I didn’t have my...
December 2010
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For Anon: A Dream within a Dream
Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow- You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream. I stand amid the roar Of a surf-tormented shore, And I hold within my hand ...
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girl-non-grata asked: Thank you. I'm about to leave this site. When I post personal things, I get judged and called horrible things. When I'm political, I get dismissed by both the left and the right. It's ridiculous.
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Basically,
whatsonyourhead:
whatever you want.
Strip.
Bark off the willow tree.
Crying by the lake.
Man-made pools of shallow water.
Placed in suburbs for the families.
We drove out native communities a long time ago.
Does anyone even come here anymore?
I feel like a stranger in my own galaxy.
Is this my sun I’m looking at?
And who’s going to tell me that it’s not?
I’ll ask the questions around...
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A young woman suddenly thinks of a new use for the...
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A young woman suddenly thinks of a new use for the...
(Share on FB)
And DONE! (essentially)
I can’t fault these little fuckers for nothing. They’re just trying to have a good time, which is more’n what I can say for a lot of people. We do what we can and we zero in on the shit that makes us smile, because, frankly, smiling’s fun.
Tell me I’m wrong. Look me in the eye and tell me I don’t speak the truth, I dare you.
Ahhhhhhhh! You blinked!
Winding down now. Only the future alcoholics are...
You can see it on their young lips. They fucking like it. These are boys. The girls have all had to go home, but the boys are still here. I can see some of them really eating it up, the alcohol.
I already know what they’ll be like at 30.
Anyway.
The world goes round and round, bitches.
Winding down now. Only the future alcoholics are...
You can see it on their young lips. They fucking like it. These are boys. The girls have all had to go home, but the boys are still here. I can see some of them really eating it up, the alcohol.
I already know what they’ll be like at 30.
Anyway.
The world goes round and round, bitches.
letsjustbestrangers asked: I just thought I'd drop by and tell how much I enjoy your blog. I love your writing. I'm glad to say that you were one of the first 5 people I started when I first made my tumblr. =]
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Teen girls have been in my house tonight.
Know how I know?
My bathroom scale, which is usually unused and filed away under the cabinet, was out.
My god, what the hell have we done to you?
Interesting note (this is from earlier when I...
I met a Tumlrer IRL. Never happened before. I’m at a party and everyone’s talking—about facebook and shit and this one girl pipes up about Tumblr. I about shit my pants.
Now, I know this is no big deal to you, all living in the center of the universe like you do, but me I live in Spearfish, South Dakota. People around here barely know what a computer is, let alone Tumblr.
So I...
Interesting note (this is from earlier when I...
I met a Tumlrer IRL. Never happened before. I’m at a party and everyone’s talking—about facebook and shit and this one girl pipes up about Tumblr. I about shit my pants.
Now, I know this is no big deal to you, all living in the center of the universe like you do, but me I live in Spearfish, South Dakota. People around here barely know what a computer is, let alone Tumblr.
So I...
Speaking of her brothers-
“Monty and Zach don’t have a curfew, but I do. I don’t know why. I guess my parents just hate me.”
~ said by a female teenager, unaware apparently of her femaleness. Sexism starts in the home, kids.
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I became nervous and retreated into the bedroom,...
Notebook
Death of a notebook, forgotten in the corner like an an elderly parent, collecting dust and festering in no discernable dimension. It has nothing to say because its pages are empty, like the confidence of its owner, who either surfs the net or watches tv.
So, two of these people have Tumblrs, one of which...
Weirdness. The dude’s like 17 or some shit. I’m trying to hide the screen. Thank you, satan, for broad shoulders. Keep in mind, this is terribly unique for me. I have never met anyone from, or even aware of Tumblr, IRL. I feel kinda like I got busted.
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I am in the midst of a "party" conducted by a...
It’s quite fun. I will relate the evening in a series of posts.
Hang on.
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I gave blood today in a new (to me) way.
brevetcaptain:
Instead of taking the usual whole blood, I gave only red blood cells. They hooked me up to a machine with a centrifuge in it that spins out the RBCs and then it pumped my plasma and platelets back in. Awesome.
Apparently, being O+ means that my RBCs are especially needed. As wiki says,
Erythrocytapheresis is the separation of erythrocytes from whole blood. It is most commonly...
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I gave blood today in a new (to me) way.
brevetcaptain:
Instead of taking the usual whole blood, I gave only red blood cells. They hooked me up to a machine with a centrifuge in it that spins out the RBCs and then it pumped my plasma and platelets back in. Awesome.
Apparently, being O+ means that my RBCs are especially needed. As wiki says,
Erythrocytapheresis is the separation of erythrocytes from whole blood. It is most commonly...
We here at Early Onset of Night wish you a...
We work our hairy little asses off trying to make you think and chuckle, and believe us, it’s not easy with so many humorless dipshits crawling all over the planet like fucking fleas.
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We and Us: Bullshit is plural
Does anyone else get annoyed when someone on the internet is talking about themselves as if they were more than one person?
“We’re so glad you stopped by our blog today!”
Wow, I think, how official!
Whatever, but congrats on pretending to be an organization.
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Do you think my blog is weird? I do.
That’s why I should be recommended to the weirdness category. My weirdness knows no bounds. Come along with me while I make people feel uncomfortable!
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gqbrielle asked: so i got your book in the mail last week (like...two days before christmas, it was perfect). i'm about halfway through so far - keep getting distracted with things like work, vodka, and massive asthma attacks - and i really like it. just wanted to say thanks :D
tickiotock asked: Hi! Just letting you know i really liked your story 'Do not read...' I'm not a critic by any scope of the imagination, but (i hope) i can appreciate a good story teller. I think within the couple months I've followed you, that one is my favorite so far! Honestly, i was impressed- nice job, man! ;)
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I posted this before but I'm posting it again...
Every town has its lunatics. If you live in a small enough town, you encounter the same ones over and over again. There used to be town drunks and before that, village idiots. Now, local lunatics. They’re people so odd, the government gives them a check to stay the way they are, apparently for my entertainment. Being extremely eccentric is only possible if you’re fabulously wealthy,...
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I dislike showing my cards but will anyway--I...
The purpose of my last post was a) to mock a sacred cow, i.e., global warming. b) to inspire further research into it and therefore questioning.
Purpose of the purposes: a) I dislike being told what to believe and I have my doubts about global warming. b) People should think more about how and why they form opinions, IMO.
I have a few rabid environmentalist friends. I am right there with them,...
I dislike showing my cards but will anyway--I...
The purpose of my last post was a) to mock a sacred cow, i.e., global warming. b) to inspire further research into it and therefore questioning.
Purpose of the purposes: a) I dislike being told what to believe and I have my doubts about global warming. b) People should think more about how and why they form opinions, IMO.
I have a few rabid environmentalist friends. I am right there with them,...
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My grandmother is way old.
81 years old, I believe. Her name is LaVonne, but she’s always been called Bonnie. When she was a little kid, her tiny brother couldn’t pronounce “LaVonne” and instead called her “Bon”, which morphed into Bonnie, and that is what she has been known as for 70 some years. I remember, very vaguely, her 50th birthday party. She is a ginger and is riddled with...
My friend is an Ebay guy
He sells stuff on there all the time. One time he sold a box of pencils he got at a yard sale for 20 bucks! They were “vintage” but come on. So I listened when he said I should sell a signed copy of my book on there. Yeah. Um, not only has it not sold, only about five people even looked at the listing, at least according to the Ebay stats program. Haha. I’ve had much better luck...
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Missoula District Court: Jury pool in marijuana... →
They took the law into their own hands, as it were, and made it clear they weren’t about to convict anybody for having a couple of buds of marijuana. Never mind that the defendant in question also faced a felony charge of criminal distribution of dangerous drugs.
In his nearly 30 years as a prosecutor and judge, Deschamps said he’s never seen anything like it.