September 2010
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Jesus H. Christ (his middle name was Herman).
My ask box is full and I have over a 100 new followers.
Many, many people are pissed at me.
The picture is from Fooducate: http://www.fooducate.com/blog/2009/08/03/guess-whats-in-the-picture-foodlike-substance/
The info is from the Omnivore’s Dilemma, which is a book. I’m not looking up the page numbers for you, you lazy fucks.
I know everyone always talks about how they LOVE...
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Do not masturbate after dicing up hot peppers.
Trust me on this.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I will resume screaming.
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hadrothewise:
I recorded this song about two and...
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Oh my god. You total fucking whore.
You slut.
Oh, right, like we wanna see your giant nipples all erect and shit. All pointy, like pencils or something.
Christ, put your shirt back on, you skinny, ghostly white fuck.
And yeah, I get it, your jeans are REALLY heavy, like a fucking philosophy class or something. They hang comically low on your hips.
Don’t even get me started on your hair. You look QUEER. And I mean that in a...
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I wish I was of Danish ancestry rather than...
so I could go around saying “I’m Danish, like the pastry,” rather than “I’m Belgian, like the waffle.”
: : : : :
And now you know why I rarely smoke pot.
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Today is Sunday and hardcore fucking beautiful...
I love Fall. It’s perfect. Not too hot, not too cold.
Today was a rare day of almost orgasmic beauty. I spent a few hours of it in the park because I’m a genius. We have the world’s awesome-est city park. It’s huge, has a river running through it, picnic tables, little shelters, pathways, stands of trees bursting with color.
I meandered around in it carrying a notebook I...
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“Write drunk; edit sober.”
– Ernest Hemingway (via perfectlymisaligned)
Or be like me: write drunk, edit drunker, re-edit sober, rewrite buzzed, re-re-edit smashed, then delete the whole damn thing when hungover.
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“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and...”
– Buddha
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I got a little buzzed and stole my neighbor's bug...
Don’t tell him.
He was perplexed this morning, scratching his head on his deck as I snickered at him from behind my blinds with a mild hangover.
I hate bug zappers. They kill indiscriminately. I understand the world’s hatred of mosquitoes. I hate them myself, but bug zappers kill everything.
I love moths and they should not be killed because you don’t like mosquitoes.
By the...
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Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow... →
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I slathered Planet Spa Himalayan Goji Berry Facial...
and it burns!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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I Think I’m Dead ~ Most Definitely
My...
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You know you're about to watch a really lame sex...
when the saxophone starts up.
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jmarie3 replied to your photo: The last place on Earth. Alphabetically, anyway.
I love when you tag things “nothing”
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I had a pony.
When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony. My cousin had pony.
So what’s wrong with that?
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The Little Red Screwdriver, part 2
part 1
After eating a peanut butter sandwich to settle my tummy, I went to bed, feeling nice and tipsy. In the morning, I showered, prepared tea for the day, ate some fruit, and went to work. I did not log onto Facebook that day at all, and in fact had almost forgotten I had friended Melissa until late in the evening of the next day. When I checked my Facebook at around 10 pm, I saw...
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I am untroubled by death
and full of shit. Even though I deny the soul and the self, it still scares me. All living things are like the waves on a pond. The illusion is that they are separate waves, but if you look deeper you will see them as simply an expression of the same pond. They are not separate things, but one thing: the pond. I am scared, though. The wave that is me will one day end on the shore. And so will the...
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“Punk is musical freedom. It’s saying, doing and playing what you want. In...”
– Kurt Cobain (via youmakemetick)
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I do not like delicacy.
I want everything painted in bold blue brushstrokes. I want to see the ridges in the paint. I do not want to be amused, I want to fucking laugh. I dislike the complex structure of Mahler and prefer the brashness of Beethoven. This is life, not thought. I’m tired of thinking. It’s a waste of time and is little more than masturbation of the soul. I want to create chaos in your precious...
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Someone has the entirety of the 9th Symphony up on... →
Also, the lyrics in the fourth movement (Ode an die Freude), plus Liszt, Wagner, others.
(I’ve been in a classical mood all week, cuz of my mom)
:]
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Just reading about how when Beethoven was going...
He sawed the legs off his piano. Then he would lay face down in front of it with his ear pressed to the floor and hammer out the Moonlight Sonata and cry.
Wow.
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The weirdest job I ever had lasted only a month.
Then I got the hell out of there.
It was at a health food store. It was essentially a grocery, but with real food. The guy who owned it wanted to put in a little soup/sandwich/deli type thing. That’s where I came in.
He knew all about food, like real food: organics, naturalness, wholesomeness, just not about creating and implementing a menu, cost control, ROI, and all that happy shit.
I...
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You know the movie where the somewhat cute, nerdy,...
manages to woo the beautiful, sophisticated girl everyone wants but can never attain?
Yeah, that’s all a bunch a bullshit.
Nice try Hollywood.
Real nerds never get women until AFTER they make money.
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An Icelandic woman who has lived in the U.S. for...
Since moving here I have met too many women that are under the impression that they are pretty pretty princesses and as such should not have to do anything but get everything they want. It is their way or no way. They are rude, self righteous and believe they are entitled to everything.
They treat their men badly and barely care about their children. They grew up believing that their wedding...
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Julian Vasquez, 47, a cop, molested a girl of 15... →
Marc Emery, a pot activist, was sentenced to 5 years for distributing marijuana seeds over the internet.
Tell me more of how our soldiers are dying in the Middle East so we can be free.
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The dream is not meaningless,
The dream is not meaningless, it is perfectly enrolled in the continuity of the intelligible. It is built up by itself out of material that is teaching us something pursued. We have found our purpose: ascertain whether only accidental. Conclude value! Allow possibility, fulfillment, realization, reflection. It is easy to show the language of dreams, strongly and namely, an actual function of...
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
just saying.
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Lady Gaga
I know is for real, as in a real important artist.
When an old woman writing for a dying newspaper (they’re all dying) condemns her and bitches about her, you know you’ve done it.
This is Camille Paglia, a columnist I respect and read often (online, never in a newspaper). Here, though, I am in complete disagreement with her, not because she’s wrong or she doesn’t make...
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Back then, I still watched the news.
And I was a morning person, like I am to this day. So I woke up and turned on the news. One plane had crashed into the WTC and they were covering it live, as if it were a tragic airplane accident. The camera was fixed on the Towers. One had a gaping, flaming hole. The other one was fine. Then the other plane hit it. There were screams and sounds of shock, but all the reporters shut up at the same...
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Have you ever went to the bar and ended up in the...
And you’re all responsible and won’t drive? And you’re just being friendly but the host thinks you’re busting a move on his woman? And he throws you out? And you don’t really protest but shrug your shoulders and allow yourself to be directed and manhandled and you come here, to Tumblr, to bitch about it?
Yeah, me too.
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For like a month, a couple years ago, I decided to...
What the hell?
You wouldn’t believe the paraphernalia you need. Number one, obviously, you need a pipe. You also need a scraper/packer thing, a filter, pipe-cleaning solution, special ashtrays, a stupid vest, and a contented and thoughtful professorial look.
I guess you don’t need all those things (except for the pipe), but I figured if I was going to do something so pointless,...
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