February 2011
1 tag
I'll take whore over boring anyday.
January 2011
1 tag
Passionfruit guava shampoo is the only thing I'll...
I like to impart a tropical flair to my package.
"I don't deserve $12 million," says Big League... →
Shortly afterward, his agent suffered a major heart attack and was pronounced dead in his limo.
I think it's cute how telemarketers and bill...
In the telemarketing and bill collecting world it’s still 1995.
Aww, I’ll think, then hit IGNORE.
Um, you know how you’re not supposed to talk to strangers? Yeah, that’s how phones work in 2011.
FYI.
1 tag
I don't beg to differ. I just differ.
Deal with it.
People who sell used cars have megalomania.
This is cracking me the fuck up. I’m looking for a new (used) car. I don’t buy new cars. Never have, never will. I won’t buy anything that loses value the minute I purchase it and also puts me into immediate debt. Car payment? No thanks. So I’ve always bought used cars and usually managed to sniff out a deal. Right now, I’m looking in the classifieds and having a...
Fuck a damn emergency room bill!
ecstacyofgold:
OVER $1500 FOR FOUR HOURS IN AN EMERGENCY ROOM WHERE I GOT NO ANSWERS, NO MEDICINE, NO SERIOUS TREATMENT. NOTHING. I will call their bitch asses tomorrow and let them know I am a broke ass 21 year old with no health insurance and I will not pay them one single mothafuckin assfuckin dime. Not even a penny.
Piss on it.
\m/
1 tag
“Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts and...”
– Doug Stanhope
I fucking love mornings like this.
Where you got enough sleep and your kitty stayed by your side the whole night so the monsters couldn’t get you and you wake up feeling good and rested and jump in the shower and get all clean and shiny and brush your teeth and it’s sunny out and you don’t really have anything to do today.
My god.
Anonymous knows my weakness for fishnets. Holy fucking shit.
Things I wonder: Is this her? Is this Anonymous? That ass could make money. Perhaps it’s just a picture GIVEN to me. One who possesses an ass like that will learn, either the hard way or the easy way, that the said ass is sacred. She will either be exploited or make ASSloads of money because of it. Having an ass like that is both...
Dudes.
I was kidding. I’m not going “on tour” haha. I don’t even know how one goes about going “on tour”. In my mind, you need a bus. All’s I got is a Toyota.
But I am going to keep going to these readings—for as long as my liver holds out anyway.
So I got up in front of an audience and read some...
Quite the experience. I wasn’t very nervous, being half drunk, but I’m full of shit. I was pretty nervous. It went well. Everyone before me read poetry, some of it insanely bad, all of it pretty serious. I read two selections from my book, plus another piece. I read comedic stuff because I thought it would go over well on such a solemn crowd. I was right. Actually, I wasn’t sure...
I wonder what PETA's take on human leather would...
It’s real, see?
What they do is take human skin and make leather out of it. A wallet costs $14,000, a belt $15,750.
The company addresses the astronomical pricing, saying their clients “are amongst the lucky few who have everything they could possibly desire.”
In short, the ickiest type of rich person: bored. So you got this bored, rich person just hanging around his mansion...
Copy this and paste it in your status if you know...
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Facebook is amusing me right now.
A status update a few minutes ago: “Today started out great, then my probation officer stopped by.”
Haha. I don’t really know the person very well, but I wish I did.
Also, I got a new friend from high school and she has no pictures of herself up. None. There’s the kids, the lake, Dad’s new truck! Various dogs and cats. None of her.
That’s how you can tell...
Serious discussions going on Tumblr, I see. Oh,...
I have no white guilt. I’m not even exactly white, I don’t think. Some people think I look Latino, one girl once thought I looked, in her words, “part Asian”.
I hope it’s the good part!
A church was in need of a bell ringer
ilovepunctuation:
early-onset-of-night:
to ring the bell twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday. Obviously, it was a part time job.
So, it put an ad in the paper and before too long had several applicants. All but one were college students and the pastor dismissed them immediately as drunken, liberal, and unreliable. The other one was a handicapped man who had no arms. The pastor had doubts...
A church was in need of a bell ringer
to ring the bell twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday. Obviously, it was a part time job.
So, it put an ad in the paper and before too long had several applicants. All but one were college students and the pastor dismissed them immediately as drunken, liberal, and unreliable. The other one was a handicapped man who had no arms. The pastor had doubts about him, too, but called him up for an...
1 tag
1 tag
I have a question about photo tagging on Facebook.
So I posted a graphic. In fact, a funny graphic from Tumblr—by the way, my facebook is just a low-rent version of my Tumblr, just with aunts and uncles and people from 5th grade. Anyway, lots of people liked it and I suddenly got these requests from people to “tag” it. They weren’t even people from my list of friends.
I approved the requests, but what was going on there?
...
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1 tag
Currently?
A quarter to midnight and I’m trying to make homemade mayo. It is an uphill battle.
I got this new counter-top mixer (red!) for Christmas and I can’t stop molesting it. I caress it and fondle it and wipe it down when it’s clean because I am a man in love.
Who needs women when you have a totally awesome (RED!) counter-top mixer?
I’ve made bread like a sumbitch, but I want...
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
Soul Kitchen ~ The Doors
wegohandinhand asked: Whats ironic about that quote is TIME magazine chose Mark Zuckerberg as the man of the year, and by vote, Americans chose Julian Assange.
bluelionrambles asked: so im in my school bus right now. on my way to school. i have an accountacy exam i havnt revised for. but id rather spend the 1hour commute to school reading your posts.
so im online on my phone and my trackball is a bit of an asshole and i pressed the unfollow button instead of that little heart next to it. and at that moment, when i made that blunder i was like...
so im online on my phone and my trackball is a bit of an asshole and i pressed the unfollow button instead of that little heart next to it. and at that moment, when i made that blunder i was like...
ginko-leaves-deactivated2011052 asked: I went into the city today and tried to get your book at Barnes & Nobles. Fuckers have to order it for me because I refuse to read it on a Kindle because Kindle's are stupid. And you can't take nifty pictures to celebrate literary art with a Kindle, because it just looks like you're holding a Kindle because that's all you're really doing.
Anyways, this was a...
Anyways, this was a...
porkies asked: You seem to be obsessed with the followers/Followers and how many you have since you comment on them when they leave you. I thought I'd suggest a possible hypothesis? I really do like your writing but I think you answer soooo many questions and my feed is just questions questions questions and responses to blog replies and that's the only thing i don't like :( have you thought about...
I mercilessly mocked Oprah Winfrey and totally...
One of the more successful MLK Days in recent memory.
“A riot is the language of the unheard.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
everysonghasasequel-deactivated asked: What super power would you want to possess?
1 tag
Answered about a dozen questions. Only lost 3...
Asshole, brain dead, unimaginative, and totally fucking stupid followers.
seashelllz asked: favorite irving book?
dashboardspam-deactivated201101 asked: Peter Carey - ever read his work? If so, thoughts? If not, top 5 favorite writers? :)
Anonymous asked: Deeply dissatisfied with the workings of the modern world, I have forsworn to make a difference. Tired of people being classed above another, while denying that wealth does not buy freedom. It is injustice to all who call themselves truthful.
What are your views on these matters ?
What are your views on these matters ?