Hello, there. My name's Mike and I'm miserable.
For some reason, I got like ten new followers overnight. I had even recently posted something too, which usually has the opposite effect. But anyway. I am officially, mark-your-calendars sick, something I haven’t been since 2008. My eyes are red and scratchy. My throat is red (I’m guessing) and scratchy. My nose is running. My head feels like it’s full of cotton. I have a slight...
I think I have a cold.
I don’t get colds, dammit. I am made out of iron, or at least fresh fruits and vegetables. My throat is scratchy, however, and I have a headache. I don’t feel 100% me, either, like in my arms and legs. They feel a little heavier. I slept a lot today and I still feel tired, physically (but not mentally). I can’t even remember my last cold. This sucks. On a happier note, I will be...
I like bad girls, crazy girls
damaged girls, artistic, emotional wrecks. I was talking to a friend the other day, let’s call him Dumbass, and he was lamenting how he wished you could just find a normal, sweet girl to go out with. I say Fuck That. Gimme the drama, bitches. If you ever see me anywhere buying matching sheets or thinking up a color scheme for my bathroom, put a gun to my head and blow me the fuck away. I want...
They are one, the ring and the Dark Lord.– Gandalf, on divorce
There are many magical rings in this world, Bilbo Baggins, and none of them...– Gandalf, on marriage
lalitab replied to your post: scrivvleland replied to your post: scrivvleland… Where do you buy it? Because that´s not something I´d find in any regular shop…… Well, here in my town I can find low and mid grade senchas loose in health food stores. I’ve gotten them that way a few times, but they taste like they’ve sat on the shelves awhile, which they probably did. Usually, I buy...
scrivvleland replied to your post: scrivvleland replied to your photo: Tea… that definitely beats the bag tea i just made. i’m going to have to learn more about tea! that looks fantastic. I’m a total tea freak and have been for years. I’m also a tea snob, but a kind one :) I only drink Japanese tea…it’s so much fresher tasting than Chinese. Here’s some info...
I’m intrigued by all the mystery. Any secret society really. I just think they’re neat. Here in my new town, I live only a handful of blocks from the Masonic Lodge and I always look at it when I drive by. It’s a really cool building, aggressively square and stone, with a dignity and a darkness to it. It looks like a cross between a temple and a tomb. Not gonna lie, the thought...
Anonymous asked: I know you just posted the whole thing about not being a Grammar Nazi, but funner isn't a word.
So I didn't get any almonds. I got whiskey...
Funner, with less chewing. I am hungry, though, and I only have potatoes. Seriously, I have to go to a store someday that’s other than liquor.
A quick note on proofreading
dagseoul: Any one who criticizes your written work because you didn’t proofread well, or you routinely misspell, or you don’t always correctly use apostrophes, or you implement the wrong “there”, or you use a sloppy or non-traditional style: any one who criticizes you for these things, is an asshole. Writing is not an easy task. For most people, it takes courage to publicly share ideas. I have...
Now I want almonds.
His love for her had turned sour, like the rancid...
but he didn’t care. He was drunk and would bang her anyway.
"The rancid oil of a long forgotten almond."
A phrase from a dream I had last night. I don’t remember anything else. It was on my lips this morning when I awoke. Ok.
Whether you realize it or not, your entire life is a near-death experience. For...– Michael Kindt
All things are subject to interpretation; whichever interpretation prevails at a...– Friedrich Nietzsche (via elige)
I hope it's nice today. I want to write in the...
A few days ago, I wrote downtown, which is a lovely part of this small city. I sat at one of those iron tables that are “for hotel guests only,” which, of course, I wasn’t. They didn’t say anything to me, but I was prepared to feign ignorance if they had: “Huh? What? Oh, sorry.” I wrote there for nearly an hour, trying to turn a narrative into a third person. I...
How’s everything? My son’s feeling better. Thanks for being concerned :) Actually, it’s a good thing he’s sick now because he has a show on Halloween and has to sing and play guitar for like 45 minutes straight. Hard to do with a semi-severe upper respiratory thing. Hopefully he’ll be 100% in a few days time. Um, what else? Oh, new article is up. True, I already...
My son is sick. Poor little guy :(
He lives 40 miles away, but he comes to his daddy to be sick. He’s got quite the cough and is supposed to work in two hours, which ain’t gonna happen. He just finally fell asleep after hacking all night. I haven’t been sick in probably 3 or 4 years, but he gets sick every year, usually in the Fall. To be honest, I love taking care of him. BRB, going to buy fruit….
I try to explain to all the sober people how it's...
It’s like fucking screaming, that’s what it’s like. My head makes noise, all the time, and I have no peace. So I seek it through alcohol, and you know what? It works. Your head is normal (I assume) It doesn’t scream at you at all. You win.
I figured out the perfect time to drink whiskey...
After you’ve dranken two bottles of wine already.
I am in the delightful process of drinking two...
Happy Saturday night!
I fucking hate Hummers. They're the automotive...
There's something sad about you, like a tree in...
"The book was WAY better than the movie."
Not in the case of The Shining, oh, no it wasn’t. Full disclosure: I’m not much of a Stephen King fan. I think many of his story ideas are brilliant, but his prolixity, obsession with character and historical background of setting, event, and participant, bores the shit out of me. Additionally, I find his writing a bit hokey and simplistic, a criticism I could levy against virtually...
I hate the word 'antics'.
I give my solemn pledge to never describe any activity as ‘antics’.
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.– Ambrose Bierce
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.– Ambrose Bierce
Wherein a piece of my writing gets thoroughly...
“The thrust of the satire was to mirror the tragic or inspirational stories that people have been posting. Almost all the stories in the piece are meant to make you laugh at how ridiculous and infuriating they sound. When you arrive at Paul’s section you have the same sob-story format but instead of making you laugh, it gives the reader pause and further supports the main ideal of OWS:...
Now I hear that Megadeath and John Mellencamp are...
So I discovered last night that Metallica and Lou...
And I thought I drank a lot.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing it, doesn’t go away.– Philip K. Dick
Tumblr, Love, and Old Guy Status
The one thing I’ve noticed about Tumblr is how obsessed everyone is with “love”. As if it’s this magical fix-all that will complete their lives. Pretty funny. I give them a pass, though, because they are young and stupid. Excuse me. Young THEREFORE stupid. When you get older, you find that love is only one of several important things, not the ONLY important thing....
Anonymous asked: Your not that funny :/
gunmetalskies asked: Hey Les, have you ever played in a band? What was it called?
lessthanorequalto asked: when's your next gig Les?
thecakeisalie asked: Les, you look like you smell like a stale bag of cheetos. Ever think of going into the fragrance business and making a name for yourself? You could even do celebrity signings at Wal-Marts across the country!
misandryspice asked: Are convicted felons/prisoners allowed to vote in the States? This has been something I've wondered for a while now, just not deeply enough to google it. Would you happen to know?
buddyblanc asked: Les! LES! Do you vote, Les?
iron-inside asked: Les, who does your hair? I aspire to copy you.