We landed on the moon. Lee Harvey Oswald killed Kennedy alone. 911 was perpetrated by Satanists with their own cocks so far up their asses they actually thought of themselves as Muslims. The Boston Bombers were the Boston Bombers and Benghazi is a desperate cry for help from a dying right wing.
Every other one you can think of is wrong, too. Cobain killed himself. UFOs are not real and the Bermuda Triangle is actually a distorted rectangle.
The real conspiracy, the one no one has thought of, is that all conspiracies are fake, made up by simple-minded people who mistake themselves for otherwise. They have difficulty fathoming such terrible concepts as “randomness” and “evil” and so prescribe these things to some sort of giant machine working in the background, usually called “the government”.
“If God did not exist, it would be necessary to create him,” indeed.
Anonymous asked: tips for a college freshman that hates this shit and just wants to write?
Just write.
he bullshitted, ain’t no doubt about it.
It was just the way he told things,
made you never want to doubt him.
He kept you going when the road got tough,
and brought you through the lean times
by making it up.
wiitns replied to your post: So I rubbed some grapeseed oil into my beard and I look and feel fabulous.
You spelled “lube” and “penis” wrong
I always do. My pen has been provided me by The Patriarchy! AHHHHH!
forrever——starrcastick:
This is indeed true. I just experienced it first hand.
Every goddamn time.
(Source: early-onset-of-night, via stars-in-the-woods)
theartistformallyknownasmcfly asked: I'm really honored you followed me back! I look forward to endless scrolling through your pages of tumblr.
I’m honored you followed me in the first place. All you guys. Seriously. Thanks for listening to me rant and rave and be drunk on the internet and try and sell a few books. For some reason, a whole shitload of people started following me today. Welcome :)
