Early Onset of Night

I’m gonna get drunk and piss, like, everywhere.

On the the green. On the golfcart. On my friend’s clubs. I’m gonna piss in those little holes where the balls go. They’ll yell at me: “Hey! Only little white balls go in those holes!” And I’m gonna say: “Fuck you! Piss goes in them as well!” And then I’ll fucking smack him upside the head with my big iron club. I like a sport that provides me with weapons. Golf maybe perfect for me. That or hockey. Come on, motherfuckers, let’s man it up!