“Inappropriate geology” destroys college student’s life
Avid spelunker Robert Cobb of Columbia, Missouri, says his life has been ruined due to a photo posted on his Facebook. The photo shows Cobb, 20, spelunking in the Lost Springs cave system of northern Arkansas this past May.
“It was a trip like any other,” says Cobb. “We’ve done Lost Springs twice before, but this time went much deeper.”
Cobb was with two other young men, John Wheldon, 23, and Erik Seybock, 19. All three are students at the University of Missouri.
“John took the photo,” says Cobb. “He thinks he’s a photographer and always takes hundreds of pictures whenever we go caving.”
A few days after the men returned home, Wheldon uploaded the photo of Cobb to his Facebook, tagging him. The photo appeared on Cobb’s timeline, where he didn’t think much of it.
“I even clicked like,” he says.
Repercussions of the seemingly innocent Facebook posting were fast and furious. Cobb’s girlfriend of two years, Jennifer Elders, 14, broke up with him via text, stating that the photo was “disgusting” and that he looked “a little too happy to be so close to an enormous stone cock.”
Cobb’s boss at the Olive Garden, where he has waited tables for nearly a year, has cut his hours. “I used to get 20 hours a week, but now I’m only scheduled from 2 pm to 3 pm every other Wednesday.”
Cobb even had to assure his mother, a Republican, that he wasn’t gay, but doesn’t think she bought it.
Perhaps worst of all, someone posted the photo on Reddit, where it went viral.
“My life has become a nightmare of epic proportions,” says Cobb, who has developed a caffeine tablet addiction since the photo appeared on Facebook. When he turns 21 in August, he says he plans on becoming an alcoholic.
“I’m tired of being known as the Enormous Stone Cock Guy,” laments Cobb, who has dropped all his summer classes and rarely leaves his apartment.
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