How Come Mitt Romney Won’t Release His Tax Returns?
Seriously, I want to know. What makes Mitt so different?
Presidential candidates have been releasing their returns consistently since the early 70s. Even Mitt’s father, who attempted to be President back in 1968, released 12 years of returns. Obama has released his tax returns all the way back to 2000.
These days, it’s kind of expected, which is why so many people are expecting it of Mitt. Of course, a candidate is under no obligation to release his tax returns, but clearly in today’s world it makes political sense.
Mitt did release one year, but if I were advising him, I’d encourage him to release more, if only to shut the Democrats up. I’d also advise Obama to dump Biden and bring on Hillary, but, alas, none of these politicians ever listen to me, no matter how much I yell at the tv. You know the Democrats are going to squawk about this all the way to November. I would if I were them. Hell, it’s like Mitt is lobbing in an easy pitch to hit out of the park.
Plus, if Mitt is hiding anything, which, obviously, he is, it’s not like it’s going to stay hidden. Someone will dig it up, guaranteed—especially if Mitt narrows the gap and actually looks like he could win. In fact, I’d be surprised if the Obama campaign didn’t already have this secret information on hand and is simply hanging onto it, just in case.
But how bad could it really be? We all know Mitt Romney is a member of the Super Rich. His tax returns will reflect this. That’s no surprise. He’s probably got money squirreled away all over the globe, just like any other super rich person. He’s probably got a million barely understandable write-offs and investments in sketchy businesses all over the planet, perhaps even all over the solar system. Take a look at any zillionaire’s finances and you are going to see some pretty strange stuff. We already know from the one year he has released that his lawyers and accountants have manipulated his finances in such a way that he pays a lower percentage in taxes than a high school teacher, so what else could be in there?
It’s not like the super rich guy stuff is going to hurt him anyway. Generally, we Americans like rich people, though, admittedly, that seems to be changing. Also, he’s Not Obama, and that’s all anybody really expects of him. So what is he hiding, I wonder? Could it really be as simple as the massive tax dodging claimed by Harry Reid? I hope not. I hope it isn’t something so quotidian and boring, so expected.
The contents of Mitt’s tax returns are like some sort of financial grimoire to me now, a veritable apocrypha of wealth. Otherwise, why guard them so closely? The suspense is delightful, but as with any suspense it will grow tiresome if prolonged beyond a certain point.
So hurry up, Obama campaign, and clue us all in.
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