Google+ FAIL= Google+
For some reason, though, I play around over there. I lie. Not for some reason. I’m a writer, READ MY STUFF! That’s the reason.
Oh, and BOOKS!
So over on Google+ you realize what a social network looks like when it truly and honestly sucks donkey dicks. Sure, we bitch about Tumblr, but, come on, we love it here. And Facebook—for all its Nazi-like soullessness and gleeful desire to suck the nards of the Surveillance State—is where they keep Grandma. That anal probe you’re feeling? It’s just Facebook digging for demographics and online behavior patterns to sell to advertisers so it can justify its stupid fucking stock.
No big deal.
But Facebook is like the fridge now. Everyone has one just sitting there in the corner. It’s like internet furniture at this point.
Google+ is an entirely different animal. A soon-to-be-extinct animal. It’s the dodo bird of social networks. Imagine all the the best things about Tumblr: the connectivity, the support (from fellow users, god knows not Tumblr staff), the overall community made up of little sub-communities, the friends made and lost, the passion and humor. Now imagine the exact opposite of that and you have Google+.
There are basically only three kinds of people on Google+: people who haven’t posted anything since July of 2011, Google employees, and me.
So I have come up with two hard and fast rules about following people over there, unlike here where I pretty much follow everyone (They have a Tumblr. How uncool can they possibly be?). On Google+ I won’t follow you if you say the word “tech” or the phrase “web host” in any post. This automatically eliminates about 98% of people.
My second and final hard and fast rule: If you have a hot car as an icon I WILL NOT FOLLOW YOU. Not no, but fuck no.
Actually, this last rule can and should be applied to all social networks, including Facebook. If someone friends you and their picture is a Porsche or a Corvette, stay away in droves. It’s like an “I’m a fuckhead” sign.
Anyway, I better post a link to this blog post over on Google+ so it can be universally ignored.
Over and out.
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