The whole time I was with my family this Christmas, I had one conversation:

early-onset-of-night:

What’s this?
Hummus.
Hummus?
Yeah.
What’s hummus?
A dip. Or a spread. Here, smear it on the bread. See?
What is it again?
Hummus.
Why is it brown?
It’s not. It’s beige.
What is it?
HUMMUS.
What’s in it?
Chickpeas mainly. Plus a little garlic, salt and pepper, cumin, lemon juice.
Hummus?
Yeah.
What are chickpeas?
They’re…I don’t know. They’re chickpeas.
I thought you said it was hummus.
It is hummus. I made it from chickpeas.
What are chickpeas then?
They’re a bean, a legume, a pulse, something like that. I’m not sure offhand.
A pulse?
Wait! They’re garbanzo beans. Yeah.
I thought it was hummus. Didn’t you say it was hummus?
It is hummus. It’s made from garbanzo beans.
I thought you said it was made from chickpeas.
It is. Chickpeas are another name for garbanzo beans.
So it’s a pea and a bean?
Yeah…I guess.
At the same time?
It’s versatile.
Versatile? I thought you said it was hummus.
It IS hummus.
So you invented it?
No, it’s a Middle Eastern food.
Like Jewish?
Ok.
Jewish, huh?
Yep. Happy Hanukkah.
But it’s Christmas.
Indeed it is.
Hummus, huh?
Try some. It isn’t toxic.
No, thanks. I don’t eat anything that’s brown.
But you’re drinking a Pepsi.
I said EAT.
Well, hummus is nummy.
Hummus? That’s what it’s called?
Yeah. It’s Martian food.
I thought you said it was chickpeas.
Nope. Martians came down in their spaceships and gave it to me.
Well, I’m definitely not eating it now.
Good. More for me. What time is it? I gotta be getting back…