Tim Tebow is maybe cooler than I thought
Tim Tebow is a football player who is a Christian. He isn’t afraid to be all public about being a Christian either, which makes him, kinda, uncool in this day and age. He holds all or most of the opinions about how to interpret the Bible that standard fundamentalist group-think expects.
In fact, he is so much of a Christian that he agreed to speak at First Baptist Church in Dallas at the end of this month. On March 31st, the mega-church will be opening a new $130-million dollar campus in Dallas, making the bank-like name ‘First Baptist Church’ unsurprising. Tebow’s speech was to conclude a month-long grand opening of the ostentation.
But Tebow changed his mind, mainly because it came to his attention that the CEO of First Baptist Church, Robert Jeffress, is an angry, hate-filled boil of a little man festering on the ass of Jesus Christ Himself.
Officially, Jeffress is the pastor of First Baptist Church, but when you head such a giant corporate church that swims in rivers of cash, it’s more appropriate to think of him as a CEO.
Why, I bet like most massive American corporations, they don’t even pay any taxes!
Anyway, Jeffress hates people who disagree with his view of Christianity. He is right and you are wrong. He has said that Islam and Judaism came from “the pit of hell”. He has said that Catholicism is “a counterfeit religion”, despite the fact that his brand of Christianity, Protestantism, considers itself New-and-Improved Catholicism. He has said that Mormonism “is a cult”, which is what you call a religion you don’t agree with, especially if they don’t have a lot of members.
Like most fundamental Christians, Jeffress has interpreted the Bible in such a way as to justify his bigotry against gay people, but he’s even more of a dick about it, saying that homosexuality and pedophilia are “linked” and that “70% of gay people have AIDS.”
Jeffress is just an all-around hateful clown and when Tim Tebow found out about it, he cancelled his speaking engagement. Clearly, he doesn’t want to be associated with such a backwoods, cousin-porking hillbilly (intellectually speaking).
So kudos to you, Tim. I believe God actually did help you complete this pass.
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