I have only made love to one Englishwoman,

and here I am approaching the middle of my life (I plan on living to 140).

It was only ok because she was so white I kept losing her in the sheets. I like being the command prompt, so when I did manage to locate her, I ordered her around, saying things like “Call the trunk of my car a boot again, baby” and “Tell me how my apartment is all flat.”

Good times…