Early Onset of Night

So we’re just discovering that the IRS is a big scumball organization? I know I’m shocked.

Kill it with fire.

Jraphics Interchange Format.

Whatever, dude. #hardg

After much consideration, I have decided that no conspiracies are true.

We landed on the moon. Lee Harvey Oswald killed Kennedy alone. 911 was perpetrated by Satanists with their own cocks so far up their asses they actually thought of themselves as Muslims. The Boston Bombers were the Boston Bombers and Benghazi is a desperate cry for help from a dying right wing.

Every other one you can think of is wrong, too. Cobain killed himself. UFOs are not real and the Bermuda Triangle is actually a distorted rectangle.

The real conspiracy, the one no one has thought of, is that all conspiracies are fake, made up by simple-minded people who mistake themselves for otherwise. They have difficulty fathoming such terrible concepts as “randomness” and “evil” and so prescribe these things to some sort of giant machine working in the background, usually called “the government”.

“If God did not exist, it would be necessary to create him,” indeed.

My state (South Dakota) has done much to limit abortion.

It’s a very anti-choice state.

It’s worked, too. Abortions have been going down and down here. They are half what they were 20 years ago. Women have to jump through a lot of artificial hoops made up to make getting an abortion difficult—mandatory counseling, waiting period, forced to look at sonograms, etc. We try to fuck with their fragile heads as much as possible around here. So far, though, we’ve drawn the line at shoving medicial instruments into their vaginas. So far.

Today in the local paper, they are lamenting the rise in unwed pregnancies in the state. Lulz.

It seems that unwed, single mother pregnancies have gone up and up, kinda like how abortions have been going down and down, only backwards.

It’s a real head-scratcher, I’m tellin’ ya.

The people lamenting this, of course, say a bunch of tired crap about how important mom-and-dad traditional families are, but mostly they’re worried about what all these little babies are going to cost. You see, a great many, if not the majority, of these single unwed mothers are poor and are seeking and getting help from the state.

And that’s expensive.

Anne Hajek, one of our state legislators, wants to know, and I quote, “Who pays the bill?”

Gee, I wonder, Anne. Another real head-scratcher.

Linda Schauer, state director for the anti-choice group Concerned Women for America, said, “It appears that perhaps a woman in South Dakota in an unplanned pregnancy is more likely to give birth and raise her own child.”

She also noted that the sky was blue, mountains tall, and rocks hard.

But isn’t this the whole point of passing laws designed to be mean and intrusive, to limit abortions? Since the Supreme Court won’t let a state ban abortion outright, states have to make getting an abortion so difficult and uncomfortable they’re practically banned anyway.

So now we have all these little babies who need state assistance. Schauer says we need to make sure the parents take care of them.

With or without the help of the community, Schauer? Help from the wider community in which a person lives is usually derided by conservatives as “welfare” or “entitlements”. According to conservatives, not only MUST you carry that baby full term, you have to fend for yourself with it after it’s born, amiright?

Whether or not you are pro- or anti-choice, we should all be pro fucking baby once the damn thing is born.

(Source: early-onset-of-night)

Conspiracy Theory!

Saw it coming a mile away. Ten minutes after it happened I thought “Well the paranoid set are going to be busy!” Busy taking [certain] photos out of context and selectively picking out facts that substantiate their “theory” while ignoring others that detract from it.

That’s how conspiracy theorists operate.

I have never seen such religious people in all my life, people so blindly driven by faith—“the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME

Why do you think they really want us to do this? It’s kind of fucking ridiculous, if you think about it.

It has to benefit something—big corporations, government—because it sure as hell doesn’t benefit any human beings.

Someone’s making money off it or the creeping totalitarianism of our plutocratic government is served by fucking with the general population’s circadian rhythms.

I’m not a conspiracy theory type. I think the twelve or so consulate attacks which occurred under George W. Bush are as important as Benghazi. But there is certainly something fishy about this Daylight Savings Time shit.

I don’t care who you are, you are never going to convince me that it’s a good idea to have the sun go down at fucking 9 o’clock at night.

God created man through evolution.

Now shut up the both of you.

If there are still guns at the end of gun control, then gun control is bullshit.

It’s a worthless ploy, designed to make liberals feels better. The conservatives, despite being dumb as rocks, are right about one thing: GUN CONTROL WILL ONLY AFFECT LAW-ABIDING PEOPLE. Criminals don’t give two shits about the laws Obama’s proposing and I can tell you for a fact they are not lining up to follow any gun control laws that might get passed.

The problem is that we are gun-ridden in this country. There are guns everywhere, MILLIONS of them. You can improve background checks, you can ban assault rifles, and it will not matter one fucking bit.

All guns have to be removed from our society or we’re just fooling ourselves, we’re just stomping our feet and passing useless laws that make us feel better.

Over a quarter of a million Americans have died by guns since the year 2000, and the real reason is that there are guns everywhere in this country, MILLIONS of them. That’s the only real reason, whether we admit it to ourselves or not.

So unless all guns are banned, gun control is just feel-good bullshit.

We love guns in this country, though. We will never ban them and probably couldn’t if we tried. So the fact is, those quarter of a million people, including many children, are simply sacrifices, the tiny little prices we must pay to the great god GUN.

A gun is a machine designed to do one thing and one thing only: KILL. We have more of these machines floating around in our society than in all other societies combined. Thus, hundreds of thousands of people, including lots of children, will die. It’s simple math.

We have three options:
1. Really change things by eliminating guns from our society.
2. Do nothing and thank all those people who have given their lives as sacrificial lambs so that we can have our guns.
3. Pretend like we’re doing something about all the terrible gun violence by passing bullshit laws to make us feel better about ourselves.

Obviously, we’re opting for #3, which is really just #2 dressed up in a nice, shiny suit of complete self-delusion.

Telling yourself a lie does feel good, I guess—especially if you are dumb enough to believe it.

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