This is a review of Paranormal Activity, which I watched a little while ago. It contains spoilers, FYI. I watched it under the influence of stale corn chips and iced matcha tea
The film is about this dude Micah who buys a fancy shmancy camera to capture the paranormal activity that has recently been happening in his cookie-cutter suburbo-mansion. Not only is the film about this, the film is the footage this camera captures. Found footage type stuff ala the Blair Witch Project, which I did like a bunch.
The paranormal activity began when his girlfriend Katie moved in with him, and you get the idea this wasn’t too long ago. Katie is pretty hot, I think. She has adorable legs and feet and is shaped like a real woman. She looks like a real person, not an actress. This made her 10 times hotter IMO. One time I watched a movie—I forget the name—that had Tara Reid in it. She played a scientist. Let me say that again: Tara Reid played a scientist. The actress who plays Katie was perfectly cast: a sweet, cute innocent girl who just happens to be haunted. There is only one role for Tara: artificial spaced-out bimbo whore.
Scientist? Puhleeeease.
Anyway:
That’s right: Katie herself is haunted. The house this was all shot in really bugged me. It was so modern, so typically American suburb it detracted from the atmosphere rather contributed to it. Push button fireplace, plastic walls, the works. Out the window you could probably see a Walmart. If the location had had even a shred of personality, the movie would have been ten times scarier.
So Micah gets this camera and Katie’s not too down with it, but she kinda humors him. Micah is kind of a tool. He does love Katie, but…he just seems like sort of a tool to me. The couple hire a psychic who majored in Ghosts back in Psychic College, but he can‘t really help them because what‘s haunting Katie is a demon, not a ghost. He gives them a number of a guy who did major in Demons, but Micah won’t let her call him right away because….because….Well, I’m not really sure. He doesn’t really buy the psychic shit, but he does the paranormal activity. So yeah. In the beginning he thinks the whole thing is kind of a joke and he’s just having fun. Throughout much of the movie he is both excited by the demon and wants to fuck with it and also dismissive of it, thinking it’s kind of a bunch of shit. A tool. He does love this cutie-pie Katie, so he must have a few brains.
I won’t give everything away.
The camera captures a bunch of freaky shit gradually. The film escalated well and had a really creepy ending. I was creeped out at times, maybe even scared. Apparently, the film had a bunch of hype that lots of people say it didn’t live up to. Hype is never lived up to—by a movie, a band, a book, whatever—so that doesn’t surprise me. I wasn’t aware of any hype, so I thought the movie was fine. Good clean fun. It’s not terrifying, but I haven’t been terrified by a movie since I was a kid. It’s not gory and is subtle and psychological—a plus in my book, a negative in some other people’s books.
My main problem was the lack of any atmosphere at all in the film, owing to the stupid house this guy willingly lives in and the clean style of filming the camera provides. Note to the director: atmosphere is important in a scary movie, especially a subtle, psychological type one.
The Blair Witch guys did this type of film much better, but I’d recommend you watch Paranormal Activity. It’s fun and pretty creepy and Katie is definitely worth watching for 90 minutes or however long.
As an aside, when Micah first gets the camera, he half-jokingly tries to get Katie to have “some fun” with it in the bedroom. Katie dismisses the idea immediately and Micah, tool that he is, gives up trying.
I’m pretty certain, though, that I could’ve convinced her.
