— Richard J. Daley, mayor of Chicago, during the riots that took place there in 1968
So I’m reading the paper, see, and it’s an article about all the great success we’ve been having overturning the stupid gay marriage bans. State by state they’re getting struck down, as I’m sure you’ve heard. Even my state’s ban (South Dakota) is working its way to inevitable and correct doom.
But the ban has been upheld twice in Nebraska. What the fuck? Upheld? And you wanna know something else? It’s one of the most far-reaching, draconian bans of them all. The article was telling the story of a couple who had married legally in Iowa, right next door to Nebraska. Two ladies, with a young son, who had been together for years and then finally got hitched when Iowa legalized gay marriage (one of the first states to do so, by the way). Like many, even most, married couples, they wanted the same last name and one of the ladies took her partner’s.
Anyway, fast forward a few years, and the family made a move, for career reasons, to Nebraska, which, as I pointed out in the title, is an asshole. They were there awhile and it came time for the lady who had taken her wife’s name to renew her driver’s license. Well, they wouldn’t let her. They insisted that she do it under her maiden name, which, legally, was no longer her name, so they wouldn’t let her even do that. In Nebraska, her VERY NAME was illegal because she was gay.
Think about that.
Then, to top it all off, she finds out that she has no legal rights to her own son, who is, biologically, her wife’s offspring. So, like, God forbid, if something happens to her wife, she very well could lose her son, simply because she’s gay—and, of course, the kid could lose both his parents, simply because of their gayness.
100 miles east of where she is living, none of this would be true. Isn’t that weird?
What part of love your neighbor as yourself do these fuckwads not get?
On Wednesday, the Supremes ruled UNANIMOUSLY that cops need a warrant before going through your device. The ruling used the somewhat antiquated term “cellphone”, but we all know that what everybody is carrying around is much more than a phone, cell or otherwise.
Mine, for example, is also a flashlight.
Chief Justice Roberts recognized this: “Modern cellphones are not just another technological convenience. With all they contain and all they may reveal, they hold for many Americans the privacies of life.”
I’m starting to like this Court more and more. In history, one day, we may refer to “the Roberts Court”, the one that faced down the internet age and said people have a right to be left the fuck alone.
Of course, the Obama administration, as well as the state of California, opposed the decision, saying it would hamper police work. But Roberts set them straight, saying: “Sometimes privacy has a high cost.”
Indeed it does. And it’s worth every goddamn penny.
It went to court today, according to the paper. Not sure how long it’ll take, but any clear-thinking, freedom-supporting judge will strike that shit down, as we have seen in state after state, most recently in Oregon.
I’m sorry, but this is America and you CAN’T WRITE DISCRIMINATION INTO LAW. The majority does not have the right to treat a minority like shit. That’s not democracy. One of the catchphrases (i.e., lies) of the communist revolution in Russia was “Dictatorship by the majority.”
Only recently did I become aware that we even had a gay marriage ban. I don’t remember voting on it. Obviously, I would’ve voted against it, but I really don’t recall it happening. Maybe I was out of state then or in one of my non-political periods. I guess it’s been around since the nightmare that was the George W. Bush administration. I spent a lot of that time blackout drunk for obvious reasons, so maybe that’s why I don’t remember.
I live in the second largest city in South Dakota, only a few blocks from the county courthouse, and when it does happen I’m going down there to witness it. I think it’ll be so cool. Nothing ever happens here.
I’m not the sort of person to carry a sign or be very vocal about political shit (except on the internet, where I am very brave), but you can be sure I’ll give the happy couples a thumbs up. We ain’t all backwoods gun-fucking rednecks!
PS: driving down here to post this, I passed the federal courthouse and there’s a dozen, dozen and a half supporters out front waving signs and cheering—supporters for over-turning the ban. I honked and waved. I’m guessing it’s before the judge as I post this. Perhaps a decision will come as soon as today or this evening…
is when you refer to yourself as more than one person to make yourself sound like a whole organization, even though you’re not. In your mind, it makes you sound official-er. “We” are starting this great new website! “We” want you to join “us”!
Bullshit. I know it’s just some guy, his laptop, and a dream.
I seem to have some sort of bullshit business plural radar. I can spot it a mile away. It just stands out to me as jarring, like how yelling “FUCK!” in a church stands out to the little old ladies in the pews. Sometimes, though, I hear the business plural and don’t even notice it. Know why? Because I am talking to a representative of a real organization and I can just tell.
Call it cynic’s intuition.
Mostly, when I detect the bullshit business plural it’s on the net. Not always, though. I will hear a plural pronoun and the hair will stand up on the back of my neck and I will just know it’s one guy in his mother’s basement.
Look, you may be an entrepreneur of some sort and I respect that. Maybe you really are in your mother’s basement and you want to get the fuck out of it because she’s a total bitch with a glue and gold spray paint problem and you have this crazy idea that might actually work. Why must you refer to yourself in the plural, though? Is it false humility (which is the greatest form of egoism)—embarrassment at using the word “I”? Is it really because you think you sound more official?
I don’t know but every entrepreneur in America—and we are a nation of entrepreneurs—refers to him or herself in the plural, even before they hire employee one. Perhaps especially before.
Look, there’s nothing else to do in this country anymore but be an entrepreneur since we shipped all our manufacturing jobs to Asia. “We” did it, not the corporations. “We” want the cheapest shit “we” can get our hands on and for that to be possible “we” gotta get someone who will work for peanuts to build it. Enter Asia.
One time I was in a store and heard a woman loudly bitching about the price of bananas. They were 65 cents a pound, but at a store down the road they were only 59 cents a pound. She was actually insulted by that.
You must understand that there are two kinds of poverty in the world: American poverty and real poverty like you find in Africa and India and so forth. When I was homeless, 90 percent of the people in the rescue shelter had cellphone service of some kind, including me. We had nowhere to sleep, but at least we could text each other about it.
I bet an entire village in Africa could be fed and clothed by the contents of a Walmart SuperCenter’s dumpster. There is a reason these big stores lock up their dumpsters at night and it’s not because they don’t want other people using them. It’s because here in America, even our garbage is fucking gold.
— Ambrose Bierce