Hashem bless Joan Rivers! She told it like it is!

"Can Selena Gomez even spell Palestinian?" - Joan Rivers

Tags: politics lol

The Supreme Court makes a good decision. Holy shit.

On Wednesday, the Supremes ruled UNANIMOUSLY that cops need a warrant before going through your device. The ruling used the somewhat antiquated term “cellphone”, but we all know that what everybody is carrying around is much more than a phone, cell or otherwise.

Mine, for example, is also a flashlight.

Chief Justice Roberts recognized this: “Modern cellphones are not just another technological convenience. With all they contain and all they may reveal, they hold for many Americans the privacies of life.”

I’m starting to like this Court more and more. In history, one day, we may refer to “the Roberts Court”, the one that faced down the internet age and said people have a right to be left the fuck alone.

Of course, the Obama administration, as well as the state of California, opposed the decision, saying it would hamper police work. But Roberts set them straight, saying: “Sometimes privacy has a high cost.”

Indeed it does. And it’s worth every goddamn penny.

Tags: politics

The Gay Marriage Ban is about to be struck down in my state. High five!

It went to court today, according to the paper. Not sure how long it’ll take, but any clear-thinking, freedom-supporting judge will strike that shit down, as we have seen in state after state, most recently in Oregon.

I’m sorry, but this is America and you CAN’T WRITE DISCRIMINATION INTO LAW. The majority does not have the right to treat a minority like shit. That’s not democracy. One of the catchphrases (i.e., lies) of the communist revolution in Russia was “Dictatorship by the majority.”


Only recently did I become aware that we even had a gay marriage ban. I don’t remember voting on it. Obviously, I would’ve voted against it, but I really don’t recall it happening. Maybe I was out of state then or in one of my non-political periods. I guess it’s been around since the nightmare that was the George W. Bush administration. I spent a lot of that time blackout drunk for obvious reasons, so maybe that’s why I don’t remember.

I live in the second largest city in South Dakota, only a few blocks from the county courthouse, and when it does happen I’m going down there to witness it. I think it’ll be so cool. Nothing ever happens here.

I’m not the sort of person to carry a sign or be very vocal about political shit (except on the internet, where I am very brave), but you can be sure I’ll give the happy couples a thumbs up. We ain’t all backwoods gun-fucking rednecks!

PS: driving down here to post this, I passed the federal courthouse and there’s a dozen, dozen and a half supporters out front waving signs and cheering—supporters for over-turning the ban. I honked and waved. I’m guessing it’s before the judge as I post this. Perhaps a decision will come as soon as today or this evening…

The Business Plural

is when you refer to yourself as more than one person to make yourself sound like a whole organization, even though you’re not. In your mind, it makes you sound official-er. “We” are starting this great new website! “We” want you to join “us”!

Bullshit. I know it’s just some guy, his laptop, and a dream.

I seem to have some sort of bullshit business plural radar. I can spot it a mile away. It just stands out to me as jarring, like how yelling “FUCK!” in a church stands out to the little old ladies in the pews. Sometimes, though, I hear the business plural and don’t even notice it. Know why? Because I am talking to a representative of a real organization and I can just tell.

Call it cynic’s intuition.

Mostly, when I detect the bullshit business plural it’s on the net. Not always, though. I will hear a plural pronoun and the hair will stand up on the back of my neck and I will just know it’s one guy in his mother’s basement.

Look, you may be an entrepreneur of some sort and I respect that. Maybe you really are in your mother’s basement and you want to get the fuck out of it because she’s a total bitch with a glue and gold spray paint problem and you have this crazy idea that might actually work. Why must you refer to yourself in the plural, though? Is it false humility (which is the greatest form of egoism)—embarrassment at using the word “I”? Is it really because you think you sound more official?

I don’t know but every entrepreneur in America—and we are a nation of entrepreneurs—refers to him or herself in the plural, even before they hire employee one. Perhaps especially before.

Look, there’s nothing else to do in this country anymore but be an entrepreneur since we shipped all our manufacturing jobs to Asia. “We” did it, not the corporations. “We” want the cheapest shit “we” can get our hands on and for that to be possible “we” gotta get someone who will work for peanuts to build it. Enter Asia.

One time I was in a store and heard a woman loudly bitching about the price of bananas. They were 65 cents a pound, but at a store down the road they were only 59 cents a pound. She was actually insulted by that.

You must understand that there are two kinds of poverty in the world: American poverty and real poverty like you find in Africa and India and so forth. When I was homeless, 90 percent of the people in the rescue shelter had cellphone service of some kind, including me. We had nowhere to sleep, but at least we could text each other about it.

I bet an entire village in Africa could be fed and clothed by the contents of a Walmart SuperCenter’s dumpster. There is a reason these big stores lock up their dumpsters at night and it’s not because they don’t want other people using them. It’s because here in America, even our garbage is fucking gold.

"Conservative, noun: A statesman who is enamored with existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal who wishes to replace them with others."

— Ambrose Bierce

So I’m reading about a botched execution in Missouri or somewhere.

The poor guy gritted his teeth during the procedure. His breath heaved and it took him twenty minutes to die. The chemicals injected into him apparently caused a heart attack, then cardiac arrest, not just simple, humane cardiac arrest.

All this guy did was shoot a woman, incapacitating her, then buried her alive.

He should’ve been injected with fucking bug spray, in my opinion.

How dare we call ourselves an “enlightened society” when we worry more about how we treat a merciless killer than how he treated his victim.

"I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."

— George McGovern

Tags: politics

"Traffic calming structures."

— what my local city council renamed our speed bumps

Vladimir Putin, savior from Russia, rescues the Ukraine.

Vladimir Putin, savior from Russia, rescues the Ukraine.

(Source: early-onset-of-night)

Tags: politics

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."

— Anatole France

Tags: politics

The thing I often wonder about politicians is how do they sleep at night?

Do they really believe all that they say, and if so, how the fuck do they sleep at night?

But they’re politicians. Everything they say is a lie.

So how do they sleep at night?

Let’s imagine, for comedy’s sake, that there is a politician who actually cares, who votes his conscience, who is everything we expect politicians to be.

How does he sleep at night knowing that he is part of a huge structure, the very purpose of which is to shut people like him up? How does he feel about the fact that our men and women in uniform are fighting for bullshit political reasons and NOT freedom. Haven’t we licked that “freedom” Popsicle long enough?

Every vote he makes is fucking “symbolic”. How does he sleep at night?

How do we sleep at night knowing roughly half of the bank tellers in this country are on some form of public assistance while, last year, banks made a profit of 149 billion dollars?

If you wanna know where a lot of your tax dollars are going, it’s to subsidizing employees of giant corporations who, frankly, do not want to share.

Many giant, profitable corporations do this, including Walmart. And yet…

How do we sleep at night?

We demonize poor people, like fucking idiots, meanwhile we are in a new age of robber barons. Where is Teddy Roosevelt when we need him? Where?

When I sleep tonight, I will totally dream about Teddy Roosevelt. Hopefully.

Tags: politics

Ukraine…This century’s North and South Korea?

Tags: politics


So I am here in the parking lot of a coffee shop, using their wi-fi like the whore it is.

It’s amazing to me that internet isn’t free at this point. There are people out there actually paying for it.


They probably think it’s smart to have good credit, too, not to mention other things the tv tells them to do.

I do not pay for internet. Or tv. I have a pay as you go phone but I’m currently outta minutes, so I don’t, in fact, have a pay as you go phone.

On March 4th, though. Oh, baby! I be callin left and right.

You would think that the government has vested interest in getting everybody on the net. Remember that Edward Snowden, NSA crap? If everybody was on the net, golly gee, they could totally track us all.

It’s 2014 and I know enough to know that the internet needs me more than I need it. Therefore, why ain’t it free? Why make us think that we have to pay for wi-fi when you and your dog knows that it’s just floating around out there like fucking radio waves?

Leeches like me will change the world.

I will not pay for internet (in any capacity).

I will not pay for tv (in any capacity).

Government and “society” wants me involved with these things, therefore


So, since I live in the middle of nowhere, I’m just hangin’, waitin’ for the brave new world.

Bring it.

"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian."

Henry Ford.

Not a Henry Ford fan by any means, but I like this quote.

Tags: politics LOL

I don’t know if it’s nature or nurture, but I’m kind of attracted to George Fox.

Some people, for whatever reason, are attracted to the opposite sex; some are attracted to the same sex; some even to both sexes (crying out, I would imagine, to the heavens above “Double your pleasure, double your fun!”)

Me, I’m attracted to George Fox.

Before, like months ago, I sat down and read The Journal of George Fox. George was basically the founder of the Quakers, and, I’m telling you, the guy was a punk rocker, religiously speaking. Between getting pummeled by angry mobs and thrown into jail by staid and self-righteous “authorities”, he was running for his very life through the green and pastoral settings of 17th Century England.

Everywhere the guy went, he raised major hell and I totally fell in love with him.

Disclosure: this has little to do with the content of his message, which was a radical Christianity that was very pacifist (which I liked) and very prudish (which I didn’t). George thought plays were wrong. Going to see a play=wrong.

The guy was a contemporary of William Shakespeare for Christ’s sake what in the actual fuck?

Anyway. Disclosure continued: I am attracted to and interested in the nature of rebellion, devoid even of its content. Rebels, of any kind, fascinate me. I am fascinated by the cycle. The struggle of the rebel…and if the rebel wins, he totally loses because he just becomes another boss and is subject to rebellion himself. The rebel can never win. Ever. If he wins, he ceases to be a rebel, and if you’re not a rebel, you’re just another “authority figure”, someone sucking the limp dick of what’s accepted and thought to be true. On and on it rolls.

Rebellion happens in context. If George Fox were alive today doing the shit he did, no one would even notice. He would be a crazy man on the street wearing a sandwich board crying “The end is nigh!” or some such shit.

Wikileaks, Edward Snowden, and the like are our rebels today. As government surveillance of individuals becomes universal, ok’d tacitly by the distractedness of the beige braindead celeb-watchers that comprise the vast majority of our society, rebellion will have to change.

The minute you begin to rebel, it will be on camera, recorded, on the net. The NSA will know, and probably your boyfriend, too. This does present problems, but I think opportunities, also.

One of the things I love most about rebels is that they always, always find a way to aggravate!

Now, though, with all this technology, I actually think the gummint can eliminate rebellion. Serious rebellion anyway (not talking about piercing your whatever, you edgy rebel you). Why track every American? Oh, yeah “terrorists”. Dude, that was so 14 years ago. Does anybody still buy it anymore but you and Barack? Come on.

Imagine a society from which all rebellion had been purged. Everybody thought exactly alike. For example: Everybody—every single person—thought that male privilege was real. LOL, just kidding. That’ll never happen.

I think any society that truly lacks rebels will wither and die. Hopefully. Our super technological, super distracted, super stupid society really might be the one that achieves a state of no rebellion at some point. Universal surveillance of individuals is around the corner, 2020, if not a little sooner. Then what?


Tags: politics prose